I love the book of Proverbs! If you read it carefully, it can tell you very poetically and intelligently how stupid you are acting on a daily basis. Some passages even seem to have a flavor of sarcasm and dry humor – or maybe I’m reading into it too much. Either way, while the Bible is available for us to enjoy it is mainly there to change us. If you open your Bible without a desire to be changed you might as well put it back down again. However, if you don’t feel like being changed but you know you need to change, put your Bible down, tell God that you don’t feel like changing and then pick it back up again and start reading. He knows we are weak and He meets us where we are if only we are willing.

Greg Laurie likes to say that the word Bible stands for Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth. I think that is a fitting statement – especially for the book of Proverbs. But you have to be careful, this book makes no sense to a person who does not have or allow the Holy Spirit to interpret it for them. Now, onto Proverbs!

Being me, I often feel the urge to talk out my feelings and problems. In fact, the bigger the feeling or problem, the stronger the urge I have to talk. Last year, I came across this verse which truly rocked my perspective on what I thought I was entitled to do when I am upset:

A fool vents all his feelings, but a wise man holds them back.

Proverbs 29:11

Short, sweet and to the point. The Bible says if you vent your feelings you are a fool. Do you know how many times prior to reading this I have called my husband, my sister, or my girlfriends and began the conversation with, “Okay, I just need to vent…”???

You may be thinking what I thought: “But God made me a talker and I need to talk when I am upset. I won’t talk to just anyone – I will talk only to the people I trust. If I can’t talk to someone about this issue I will drive myself crazy thinking about it over and over again.”

Merriam-Webster defines the word vent in this way: to express (an emotion) usually in a loud or angry manner. Given my history with venting, I would say Merriam-Webster hit the nail on the head. When I feel the need to really vent, it is like verbal diarrhea! I know that is horribly graphic but typically that is also what is coming out of my mouth. It’s not that I am using foul language. It’s not that I’m telling outright lies. But the whole point of venting is to get the person on the receiving end to sympathize with you. Sometimes to make that happen the truth needs to be stretched a tad or a tiny detail needs to be left out to make sure that the person who is your sympathizer can properly sympathize. Most people don’t mean for that to happen but when venting, you are usually talking faster than you are thinking which brings us to the next verse:

In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, but he who restrains his lips is wise.

Proverbs 10:19

Again, think verbal diarrhea. If you have made it a habit to vent when you have been wronged or someone is doing wrong, you need to stop. Not because I said so but because God says so. In addition to the fact that you will probably end up distorting the truth (sin), you are also probably forcing your sympathizer to view that person in a bad light (sin). Maybe they deserve it…maybe it is well-known what kind of person he/she is…but in the end, it’s not for you as a Child of God to gossip.

So what do you do when you need to vent? The truth of the matter is people do hurt us and people do things that are just wrong so what does God expect us to do? You vent to Him first. Tell Him what you are feeling and what was done to you and after that: you wait. Most of the time, you won’t feel better immediately because we rarely pray until we have calmed down. Tell God about it and give Him time to change your heart. The reason why we often don’t have immediate relief is not that God is slow to respond but it is that He cannot fix what we are not willing to have fixed.

The Bible is not against getting counsel or advice either:

Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.

Proverbs 11:14

If you need counsel – get it! But don’t go for advice from just anyone. Go to a person who gives Biblical advice and is not going to be swayed by your emotions. Go to someone who isn’t afraid to tell you when you are in the wrong. Finally, when you decide to tell someone – tell them the entire truth!

Lastly, the following verse has helped me time and time again when I have been upset about something that I have no control over:

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy – meditate on these things.

Philippians 4:8

Sometimes the answer is to stop thinking about the problem. We can drive ourselves crazy thinking about things that are not going to be resolved any time soon. After you have talked to God, spend your time focusing on that which is true, noble, just, pure, lovely, of good report, virtuous and praiseworthy.