For a long time, I didn’t think my story was cool enough to share. I’d heard so many others share about amazing, miraculous, dramatic things God did in their lives so that they would come to accept Him, know Him, and love Him as their Savior. But my story always seemed too boring, too lame, too anticlimactic to share. It wasn’t until a few years ago that I finally came to this pivotal realization: My story is mine and no one else’s. The redeeming work of the Lord Jesus on the cross and the Holy Spirit’s gracious, merciful, relentless wooing of my soul is anything BUT boring, lame, or anticlimactic. The winning of ANY soul for Christ, regardless of the circumstances, is something beautifully thrilling. So here’s my story:
I was born and raised in the Indian Christian community. I grew up going to church several times a week, reading the Bible every day, memorizing Bible verses, going to Awana, and singing along with contemporary Christian music. I accepted Christ as my Savior when I was around seven years old. I honestly can’t tell you the date or the time or where I was. I don’t remember much about it. I was baptized when I was in high school and really thought I had it all figured out. I was your typical good, Christian girl all the way through high school.
And then college happened. I attended Texas A&M University in College Station, TX — only 1.5 hours away from home. Just far enough to be on my own, and just close enough to prevent major homesickness. Growing up in a rather conservative home, the freedom I encountered in college was intoxicating. At the beginning, my conscience was still loud enough, clear enough to distinguish. But each time I shhh-ed it into the background, it grew weaker and more muddled until it was almost nonexistent. One bad decision followed another. Eventually, my world crumbled around me. Somewhere along the way, I had misplaced my heart and mind, entrusting them to the world rather than to the One who created it.
The Lord broke me. He shattered my world. He destroyed it from the inside out. I was left lonely, crushed, with endless tears and a heart that seemed could never be restored. Today, I boldly, joyfully, and ever so humbly praise Him for destroying my world. You see, I was never going to be happy in my world. My world, ridden with selfishness, anger, lack of self control, sin. It took being broken — being utterly ruined, to clearly see the breathtaking beauty and wonder of this God I claimed to know.
I needed to be broken so that I could understand my dire need for Him. He did what needed to be done in order that I might know Him. How incredible is that? The God who created the universe not only did the unthinkable in sending His Son to die on a cross for my sins, but then, in the face of my unbridled rebellion against Him, He loved me still — He pursued me still, even to the end of myself.
Nothing tops being loved like that. Nothing ever will.
Ever since this moment of clarity, I’ve made it my life’s aim to live for my Savior, to share about His marvelous work in my life, and to encourage and challenge others in the Lord. This is what the Come Awake Blog was born out of and it is my earnest prayer that that’s what you will find here.