I grew up in Houston, Texas and was raised in a wonderful church with an amazing community of people who strived to serve the Lord in many ways. Because of the life of my parents and my church, I quickly accepted the truth of my condition. I was flawed and separated from God, and I accepted that Jesus Christ was the only Way to rectify this problem. From that point, I continued to grow [extremely] slowly. It took me many, many years to truly desire to give everything that I had, my life and my all, to the Savior of my soul! That happened after I graduated from college.
In 2012 I graduated from my tumultuous years of college in Ohio, and I headed back home to good ol’ Texas for the “next stage” of life (although I selfishly desired to find work in some fast-paced and exciting environment like NYC). What I thought was the next stage soon turned out to be a foolish pursuit in light of the true joy the Lord had in store.
So, I began the long and tiresome struggle of looking for a job in the field of Architecture. I looked for almost a year and came up short again and again and again. At the time, it was extremely taxing to come up empty handed and to never have an answer to the questions of prying minds, but in hindsight I count it all as joy. I remember one day, while wallowing in my failure and overall dissatisfaction with my circumstances, the Lord made Himself vividly known to me. No crazy miracles or visions happened, but it was an adjustment of perspective. It was the realization of His faithfulness that came like a still small voice in the midst of the storm.
I remember the struggles of my past in which I would always turn and pray to the Lord asking [begging] for help. Eventually, circumstances would change, and the struggle would be over: conquered or resulting in some sort of failure. And again, in hindsight, I would look back every time and recognize the good in what was learned, what was accomplished, in who I got to know, and where I went! There was so much coincidence that completely shaped my life and my personality in the midst of these struggles. So I asked myself, how many coincidences does it take for coincidence to not be much of a coincidence at all? That’s when I realized that He was there.
I realized that this experience was common for every struggle in my past. He most definitely worked at a scope that was beyond my wildest imagination and no matter the circumstance, He was with me. If He was with me during every struggle of my past, I had no doubt that He would be with me for every struggle in my future. And the mind-blowing bit: that means He is with me right now. He’s never left me, never forsaken me, and has always worked for my good whether or not I can see it.
So in 2013 my whole life changed.
I may wander, but He seeks me. It’s never been about how close I am to Him, but rather how close He is to me. I’m entirely known, struggles and all, but still loved! I am filled with the overwhelming peace that Jesus Christ is exactly who He says He is. He is the Lord of my life, and the very least I can give Him is my all.