I’m Drowning

There are several moments during the day when we find ourselves having to make a decision. How many of those decisions do we bring to God in prayer prior to making a choice? My initial answer used to be: Any major decisions that affect my Christian life. As I got older and I realized that God has a part of every aspect in my life, did I understand how important it was to commit everything to what He wanted me to choose? Even in those instances where I feel like it is something so minor, it may have a major impact in my ability to do God’s work. How many of our decisions did we take to God in prayer this week?

I have always had a passion to work with kids. Something about their enthusiasm and level of innocence makes me enjoy their company. I thought that by now I would have gone on several mission trips and been able to impact kids that way I always wanted to. However, things haven’t really worked out the way I wanted them to. I began to think this was a punishment for my prior mistakes, like maybe I wasn’t worth it? I began to question why when I truly wanted to go and do something for my God that He kept shutting doors on me.

This thought came into my mind again earlier this week and I was starting to get discouraged again about my purpose here on Earth, if I even knew what it was. But as I was thinking of what to write about for my post, I thought of the famous bible story of Jonah that we tell kids to teach them about obedience to God. Jonah was lucky enough to be ASKED by God to go on a mission, something I find myself feeling sort of jealous about.

So at a time when Jonah had to make one of his decisions for the day, we find that Jonah runs away and tries to escape to another city (Silly Jonah!). As Jonah boards another boat to head towards Tarshish, God sends a storm his way. When the other people on board realized that this was because of Jonah’s disobedience, they threw him into the water. This is when Jonah gets swallowed up by the big fish and has to spend the next three days. Naturally, Jonah began praying to God:

 “When my life was ebbing away, I remembered you, Lord, and my prayer rose to you, to your holy temple. Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs, but I, with a song of thanksgiving, will sacrifice to you. What I have vowed I will make good. Salvation comes from the Lord.”

Jonah 2:7-9

Now as this part of Jonah’s life ends in the Book, I find myself thinking of a new thought which made me feel better. God picked Jonah to go to Nineveh, not some other person that would have been enthusiastic to go. It suddenly dawned on me that maybe my mission just hasn’t come yet. Or maybe this is my time to keep preparing for whatever opportunity l may get locally or at some other place. I became aware that the more and more I wanted to do God’s work and was getting discouraged at the lack of progress on my plans, it opened up opportunities for Satan to cloud my thoughts. I truly believed that my mistakes were so great that maybe I wasn’t worth doing God’s work. I momentarily forgot God’s promise that ALL my sins are forgiven and wiped clean. So instead of drowning in my guilt, I can now look forward to leaving my heart open for when God needs me.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.