The challenge of making wise relationship decisions is something that most single people encounter at some point in their lives. Neither the words “dating” or “courtship” are found in the Bible, but we are given some principles to follow during the time when “singletons” are waiting and praying about marriage.
It’s important for a believer to understand that the world’s method of dating usually goes against God’s standard for His children, and that it’s easy to get swept away and let our hearts deceive us when it comes to matters of the heart. The Bible tells us that the heart is deceptive above all else and desperately wicked. (Jeremiah 17:9)
Even when we have the best intentions to adhere to God’s standard in pursuing relationships, we let our feelings and emotions make decisions because we just can’t help it. Nothing feels as good as falling in love, right? Researchers have come to the conclusion that romantic infatuation is more powerful than the sex drive. From a neurological standpoint, it’s easier to say no to sex than it is to regulate the feelings of an emotional crush.
The truth is, knowing the love God has for you means you do not have to seek fulfillment in how anyone makes you feel. Before you pursue a relationship – before you desperately pray and ask God to bring the perfect person along – make sure that God is the love of your life. When God is already filling the “love space” in your heart, you won’t depend on a person to do what is incapable for any human to do. You were created with a longing for God first, if that longing is not satisfied with a relationship with God, you will spend your whole life feeling like you’re missing something – or demanding love from a human being who cannot fill the longing that only God can fill.
Marriage is a picture of God’s relationship to the church, and Christian marriages should always point the world to Christ. One way to know whether you’re in a godly relationship or not is to ask yourself whether the relationship is distracting you from God. If you’re in a right relationship, it won’t distract you from God. It will actually bring you closer to Him.
Some believers allow relationships to consume them to the point that they become just like the world, and we see in the Word of God, they become more entangled in sin within their relationship than they ever did before they came to know the Lord.
If they have escaped the corruption of the world by knowing our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and are again entangled in it and are overcome, they are worse off at the end than they were at the beginning. (2 Peter 2:20)
A friend reminded me today that marriage should be less about our happiness and more about our holiness. Read that again. Marriage is not about our HAPPINESS, it’s about our HOLINESS. For those of you who are in a relationship, or waiting to be in one, is this your ultimate goal?
Marriage is not a union of two, but a union of three. God is not a bystander watching as your relationship unfolds, but He is the glue that holds it together. If you treat Him as separate, the problems that you will encounter in your relationships are attributed to that very fact. The one who created you and your spouse and brought you together knows what decision you should make in every situation, and if you go with His plan, you will never go wrong!
For those of you who are looking for practical dating advice, wikiHOW actually has some good tips. Check it out! http://www.wikihow.com/Have-a-God-Centered-Dating-Relationship
“Run as fast as you can towards God, and if someone keeps up, introduce yourself.” 🙂