I Sang & Made God Sad

When you grow up as a 90’s kid with two teeny-bopper sisters and a whole lot of exposure to N’sync & the Backstreet Boys, you better believe you start singing at an early age! There are plenty of video tapes we have of me singing my heart out to all the pop sensations of that day. When I was in 3rd grade, I was asked to help lead a worship song at my church for the first time. From that point onwards, I was up on stage nearly every weekend! I loved singing, and I loved being a part of the worship team. It made me really happy to know that one of my talents was being used for God!

… But was it really being used for God? Nope, not even a little bit.

In fact, when I sang, I made God sad.

Let me explain… I may have waaaanted to be up there, singing to AND for God, but I wasn’t! Not at all! I was singing for myself.

Every weekend I’d go up on stage, prideful in my abilities, and totally focused on what my team sounded like instead of what I was singing about! While I thought I was praising God with my words, in reality I was hurting Him with my insincere heart.

You know what was kind of scary about this predicament I was in? Nobody else knew about it! In fact, I didn’t even know what was happening myself until God showed me what my heart actually looked like. Everyone thought I was serving God wholeheartedly but in reality, my heart was far from Him!

It just goes to show how important it is to carefully consider why we’re involved in the ministries we choose to be a part of – can we honestly say it’s for Him, or for us?

I know that my particular problem was one many other Praise & Worship team members have struggled with before, but don’t be fooled! It isn’t just on stage where insincerity can spread. Whether we’re in the audience or on stage, do we mean what we sing? Take a look at these lyrics from some songs that are often sung in the church:

“Christ is enough for me. Everything I need is in You.” Christ Is Enough – Hillsong Live

“Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say – It is well, it is well with my soul.” It Is Well With My Soul – Horatio G. Spafford

“Blessed be Your name, on the road marked with suffering. Though there’s pain in the offering, blessed be Your name.” Blessed Be Your Name – Matt Redman

“Break my heart for what breaks Yours” Hosanna – Hillsong United

“Though none go with me, still I will follow. No turning back, no turning back.” I Have Decided To Follow Jesus – Sadhu Sundar Singh

“Where You go, I’ll go. Where You stay, I’ll stay. When You move, I’ll move – I will follow You. Who You love, I’ll love. How You serve, I’ll serve. If this life I lose, I will follow You.” I Will Follow – Chris Tomlin

Each of these lyrics are so powerful, and SO meaningful. Can each of us say that we’ve always meant these words as they’ve come out of our mouths? I can’t honestly say I have.

But boy, am I thankful for a God of countless second chances!! Every time we get the chance to sing a worship song, we can see it as a new opportunity to sing it sincerely – to and for Him!

There are so many of you out there who have different talents and areas where God has called you to serve Him! But insincerity and pride can creep up on us faster than we realize what’s happening sometimes. Don’t let that happen. Let’s be real with ourselves, and especially with Him. The very reason we’re blessed with our talents is because God gave them to us. Let’s use those very gifts to point back to Him as a way of saying thanks. Allowing Him to get all the glory in what we do is better than even the best of compliments we could ever receive!

“Create in me a pure heart, God, and make my spirit right again.” | Psalm 51:10

3 thoughts on “I Sang & Made God Sad

      1. I love this, it is so true. I’ve realized that I’ve become more aware of the words that I am singing! Thanks Jenny!

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