Years ago, when I was just a little girl, I had a traumatic, near-death experience. Many don’t know about it, but it happened. I almost died, which at that time wouldn’t have been good for me. And thankfully, God knew that.
It was a sunny, summer afternoon. All was well in my girly world of pink bows and tulips. We were at the pool at the apartment complex my uncle used to live at. My brothers were with me. The two boys, now men, who I felt safe with. After all, I am the baby of the family. And let’s just say I am always, more than taken care of. We were having a delightful time. I’m sure my brothers were intentionally trying to kill each other by “play fighting” in the pool. But as usual, in my perfect, pink, water world, I was enjoying my time in the pool, knowing they were close enough. Then, all of a sudden, I was drowning. Water was everywhere (obviously…I was in a pool). My legs were working at a million miles a second. Trying to gasp for breath while simultaneously screaming for help, which isn’t really effective while underwater. In my little 8-year-old brain, I was in the middle of a storm in the deepest, wildest ocean. Waves crashing all around me. And it wasn’t just sprinkling rain, no, it was pouring. The sunny day turned really dark and scary. Why wasn’t anyone helping me? Couldn’t my body-guard brothers hear me? Was this going to be the way I said goodbye to life as I knew it? This probably less than 10 second battle for life was truly traumatic. I remember it vividly.
After the few seconds that seemed like an eternity, when I was just about to give up, common sense kicked in (and Jesus, of course). I had the sense to maneuver my body a few inches to the left. And then I put my feet down. Then, I proceeded to catch my breath. Immediately after catching my breath, my princess self, found my brothers, my so-called knights, and got mad at them for not saving me. I’m assured they’d do a better job today.
Just the other day I felt these same sensations. No, not of nearing death, which would be fine now that I know Him. But of utter helplessness, in this dark world and sinful body. I was drowning in a storm. Everything was dark. And for this short amount of time, I had reached the end of myself. Then I remembered, I’m in an extremely better situation than I was in when I was 8-years-old and than most souls who are here and have already passed by. I have a Savior, who saved me then and saves me now. My Jesus. What a Savior! He gently reminded me to use the good sense He’s given me, to put my feet down, look up, and see that He’s been standing there, looking over me all along.
I will lift up my eyes to the mountains; from where shall my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth. | Psalm 121:1-2
How often do we go into seemingly sunny situations, only to find out a storm is coming our way? For me, this happens quite a bit. Yes, He equips. But if even for a second I think that I can handle this, any of it, I should know, the storm is coming. So thank You, Lord, for the storms. Thank You for the traumatic experiences that seem to be a little harsh, that make me see You more clearly and stretch my faith in You. Thank You for watching over me in the sunny days and the stormy days. I know light rain is good and refreshing, but Your storms are better. Your storms quickly remind me that I am a lunatic to think I can make it here without You. And most of all, thank You for giving me the great privilege of knowing Your love more that I might be just a little more like You, all for Your glory. Oh that each soul may know You!