Antique stores. Pink cameos. Roman candles. Romance novels. Ever since I hit the double digits, I have loved love. Being in love. Falling in love. Nat King Cole’s L-O-V-E!
As a girl, I used to sit on top of my bunk bed, listen to the Pride and Prejudice soundtrack, and write love stories. Granted it was mostly plagiarized, but I still loved writing about two characters falling in love. As I grew out of writing in my three-subject notebooks and onto my laptop, the stories became more individualized—more me.
Essentially, they were dreams for future bliss.
I thought that by the time I turned eighteen, I would be seriously dating and completely, utterly, incandescently in love. After all, Elizabeth met Mr. Darcy when she was almost twenty. And Jo March met Laurie when she was a girl of sixteen!
However, as my time in college diminishes, it is easy for me to look back at all that I had done. I went overseas three times! I mentor college and junior high school girls! I wrote a research paper about Jane Austen’s life in the town of Bath, England! I did things I never imagined. However, the few things I did imagine, like having a boyfriend, have yet to be fulfilled.
Don’t misunderstand me. I have thoroughly enjoyed the past three years in college. Being single has not undervalued my time in any way—that couldn’t be further from the truth. However, in the heart of my hearts, there is a yearning to be noticed and accepted as a woman. That yearning manifests itself in answering, “Yes!” to the question: “Are you interested in anyone?”
While I feel I am one in a billion, I know I am not alone in this.
Almost every woman, regardless of age, career, dating history, or otherwise, wonders about the future. Wonders about that “special someone.” It makes me cringe, because I know the potential of writing this may make me sound love-struck. Believe me when I say, I am of sound mind! I know Christ gave me my hopeless romanticism for a reason. It wasn’t so I would be head-over-heels in love with every man that entered my life. If it was, I would be a difficult person for myself to be around!
No. It was so I would remain optimistic, find boldness and passion in writing things that matter, and see beauty the way God wanted me to.
With my finite, lumpy wisdom, I say this:
love yourself, and cling to the God who made you you.
He gives me complete validation as a woman, dreamer, and doer. God’s presence is my good (Psalm 73:28). Rest contentedly in the cusp of His mighty, gracious hands. Rest like a hound laying on a screened-in porch, or a butterfly in the folds of a petal. He won’t let you or your secret heart slip through His fingers. Inherit His peace. And be eager in expectation! All of this waiting, wishing, dreaming, seeking, exploring, striving, is a foretaste of joy ahead!
Originally published on jo’s lunchbox.
Jo is a junior at Texas A&M University and delights in writing about things she loves, including traveling, children, poetry, and Christ. Most of her time is spent at her kitchen table writing, mentoring young junior high school girls, or sharing the gospel on campus with Cru. She frequently updates her blog at joslunchbox.weebly.com.