I Am

Chaos.

My husband and I have been running ragged with work and new life changes coming our way. We are in the process of moving to Texas and in the process of starting a family. Ever since my health issues began, a lot of concerns came up regarding being near family and my ability to have children.

The fear of the unknown is always present, but now it amps up a few hundred degrees. There are so many decisions to make, schedules to change, and risks to take. What comes with all that work?

A whiplash of good news or bad news
Of encouragement and discouragement
Of exciting highs and disappointing lows
Of hurry up and wait
Make a life altering decision now now now!

It’s a lot.

I just want to know how it’s all going to turn out so I don’t have to sit in the discomfort of the unknown. But here’s the thing: I know the unknown will always be around me. I can’t control my future, and no matter how hard I try, I always fall back into a deep pit. So how can I be at peace with the unknowable future?

Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life; he who comes to Me will not hunger, and he who believes in Me will never thirst.” | John 6:35

Jesus says, “I am.”

He will never leave our side and he knows our needs. He is teaching us to let go and let God.

We can take comfort knowing that
the unknowable future has
God’s wondrous plans written all over it.

As soon as I let go and let God in my health situation,
he healed me and opened doors for fertility options.

As soon as I let go and let God in the job interviews my husband had in Texas,
God gave a job offer.

Time is speeding up on us and this season of life has taught us to step back and watch our gracious Lord lead. We have never gone hungry or thirsty because of his never-ending faithfulness. Truly, this has brought the peace we were looking for in the unknowable future.

What I can do is:

Trust.
Pray.
Meditate on God’s Word.
Live a life that loves, serves, and glorifies
H I M.

God’s ways will reveal itself and when it arrives, we will be there ready to take the step he has set before us with joy and gladness. There is a freedom that comes with knowing that I don’t have control and cannot control my future.

I surrender to Him and take each next step faithfully, in this moment. Here. Now.

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth. The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.” | Psalm 46:10-11

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