Hello My Name is Confused

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Click on the name tag <—– and listen as you read.

I’m sure no one actually likes to be confused. If you’re anything like me, I hate it! I need to know what is going on around me — confusion is not a good look for me. As much as I dislike being confused, I can honestly say that a majority of my life was in such a state. I was confused about my identity in Christ and in this world, confused about what my future held for me, etc.

Similar to the writers in the previous posts this week, I too allowed Satan to infiltrate my mind and change my way of thinking as a believer. Each time I sinned, I would tell myself that my sin wasn’t as bad as that of the person next to me. I would justify my actions. This continuous cycle of sin, led to confusion in my identity with Christ. Satan did a really good job of getting into my head and convincing me that if I did the bare minimum as a Christian, then that would be enough for God. After years of living this lifestyle and struggling to find myself in this world, I realized it was because I played into the lies of the devil that I remained in this constant state of confusion.

The biggest sins I struggled with were selfishness and pride. As I allowed pride take over my life, my focus moved from God to myself. For years this was not a major issue in my life, but as soon as I allowed Satan to ease his way in, this shift in my attitude began to take over. I began to look at my accomplishments and my successes as my own. Sure, I would give God the “credit” occasionally, but overall everything good that happened in my life was because of me! Let me tell you, that this type of attitude did not get me very far at all. I began to find myself getting angry at God when things didn’t go my way. I spent days, better yet years, trying to figure out what all these “accomplishments” were for. I could not find a job that made me happy, I could not make the people around me happy, and because of this I was angry at God. God was not performing the way He was supposed to, according my standards! Even typing that out, sends chills up my spine! As difficult as it was to type that out, it was the truth. My actions and thoughts were pointed towards making me happy and God was not listening! How could I be so selfish and arrogant? This change in my attitude was not something that happened over night, it was years of Satan’s doing. He quietly entered into my life and tried to take over it completely.

It was only after I went through a difficult transition in my life that I realized how selfish and prideful I had truly become over the years. It was during that time that I felt, alone, disappointed, and confused. That very moment was when I truly experienced God. I gave Him my heart, and I saw Him transform it before my very own eyes. I sit here today as a testament of God’s greatness in my life. I have realized (and am still realizing) over time that this life I’m living is not about me. It’s never been about me. Who cares about my education or my resume? If it is not being used for His glory, then it is not important! My skill set, my passions, and my desires should all point to Jesus Christ. It is because of Him that I am the person I am today, and it only makes sense to use what I have for His Kingdom.

My hope is on His eternal promises. My eyes are no longer fixed on this world, but on Christ Jesus. I struggle with the same sins listed above every day. It is a constant spiritual battle that I am in, between my flesh and my spirit, but there is hope in knowing that the victory has been won through my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

1 Corinthians 15:57

We have victory over sin through Jesus Christ. Being fully committed to Him and His will in my life requires me to spend time in prayer and meditation on His word. I am excited about the path that Christ is leading me down. I know there will be rough patches along the way, but there is joy in knowing that I am not alone. Yes, I still do not know what tomorrow holds for me, but I am committed to serving Him and remaining faithful the One Constant in my life. I am confident in the fact that my future is secure in Him. Every day that I spend on this earth I want to bring honor and glory to His Name. I want to share His love to the world around me and speak of His goodness. My calling is to serve Him, and watch as His will unfolds in my life.

Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making an appeal through us; we beg you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.

2 Corinthians 5: 20-21

Screen Shot 2013-09-17 at 8.25.10 PMEach day I am seeing God’s truth revealed to me and I am no longer in a state of confusion. I pray that this post will encourage you to stop living in confusion (as I did for so many years) and start living the life that God has called us to live. It is a struggle and at times can be challenging, but I changed my perspective and have fixed my eyes on things above; now I live for Him, rather than for myself. I have found true joy and hope in Him!

While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.

2 Corinthians 4:18

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