Can I Really Enjoy Valentine’s Day If I’m Single?

I remember calling a good friend of mine a couple of years ago around Valentine’s Day, complaining: “All I want is a card with a silly red heart on it. Is that so much to ask?” This wasn’t an attempt to hint at wanting something from her, but rather just my own complaint with my relationship status. A few days later I received a package in the mail from this same friend that included tea, chocolates, fruit, and yes, a red heart that said “I love you” on it. She took the initiative and went out of her way to make me feel special, heard, and loved in a way that would speak to me. If you are single this Valentine’s Day, please allow me to beg you of this one thing:

get over yourself.

Ouch.

We’ve all heard that the heart is deceitful and desperately wicked (Jeremiah 17:9), meaning it can lead us in the wrong direction, especially if we aren’t walking in the Spirit. So rather than “listening to your heart,” listen to the truth of God’s Word.

You may have different views on Valentine’s Day — the Bible doesn’t necessarily mention it, after all. But whether or not you are “into” the hearts, teddy bears, and red roses, it IS very Biblical to show love, to reach out, and lay your own life down for the sake of others. Nowadays, it is one of my favorite holidays, as it is a great opportunity to show the love of Christ to ones who may feel very unloved, as well as a time where I intentionally set aside time for just me and The Lord Jesus for a “relationship chat.”

Lean into what is lasting: souls whom Jesus loves, God, and His Word.

1. Reach Out

The generous man [is a source of blessing and] shall be prosperous and enriched, And he who waters will himself be watered [reaping the generosity he has sown]. | Proverbs 11:25

Don’t make this time self-indulgent. Maybe you’ve been given advice that since you’re single you should “spend time on yourself” or “pamper your wishes.” Allow me to be blunt: you won’t enjoy Valentine’s Day (or any day) as long as it revolves around you. It may be fun for a few minutes to live in self-indulgence, but it will leave you utterly empty. Pour out your heart to Christ and ask Him for help to serve others instead of yourself.

Some practical ways to do this:

  • Send flowers or a card to a fellow single friend to encourage in The Lord
  • Take a younger sister or brother in Christ out for coffee, ice cream, whatever 🙂
  • Babysit for a couple at your church or offer them help so they can have an even more enjoyable Valentine’s Day
  • Go on a walk or workout with friends who don’t know The Lord and share with them about the love of God!
  • Write a note of appreciation to your parents or siblings
2. Look Up

For He satisfies the longing soul, And fills the hungry soul with goodness. | Psalm 107:9

If you are longing for love, go straight to The Lord Jesus. The Bible promises that He will satisfy those who long for Him… now we get to rest in that! Run to the Word of God and ransack the Scriptures for help and the satisfaction you are longing for. God’s love for you is not “what you make it.” He is our Creator and not a god of our own making. When we trade our own desires for the truth and satisfaction of who Christ is, we will be truly and fully satisfied.

Some practical ways include:

  • Lock yourself in your room, closet, or other quiet place for extended time in God’s Word and prayer. Make it enjoyable! Sing praise songs, listen to music that stirs you to worship, make it a sweet time of talking with the One who knows you best.
  • Write down reminders of His love and how He has shown His love to you. For instance: His love is self-giving (Ephesians 5:2), sacrificial (Romans 5:8), eternal (Jeremiah 31:3), perfect (1 John 4:18), etc.
  • Rehearse the Gospel to yourself, read through the Gospels, and see the depths of Christ’s love and mercy to us
  • Watch a video or read a biography about a man or woman who had an undivided gaze on Christ and loved Him deeply

Whether or not you are having a hard time with this Valentine’s Day, reach out and look up. Get over yourself and get into a deeper and more intimate relationship with The Lord Jesus. Christ is all, my friends.

Make it all about Him,
this day and every day.

One thought on “Can I Really Enjoy Valentine’s Day If I’m Single?

  1. Sarah! I loved your reminder to listen to the truth we find in Scripture rather than “listening to our hearts.” How important this is always – and especially on days like Valentine’s when our emotions can be in a constant state of flux. The world and society push us to focus on ourselves or to view singleness as a “problem” or an “unfortunate situation.” God tells us the opposite: He has purpose for every season, every role, every situation He places us in & He desires that our focus would be upward (first) and outward, as you’ve said. Thank you for this reminder to love & respond in this way – not just on Valentine’s, but on a daily basis! We are called to be His reflection in this world! Praying He would equip us to reflect Him & His love for all of humanity WELL!

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